... As I type it....

I would tell all my friends "I will always be there for you. I am just a phone call away if you need anything. My support for you is unconditional". Indeed my friends mean a lot to me and when i love, i love completely.  In fact, i say these sentences to only few people, but to whomever i say it, i mean it.

It was one of those weeks when i was having a hectic and not-so-great week. I was facing challenges at work and was not very receptive to anybody at home or to my friends. I was totally focused on things at work which required the best out of me. i was not much inclined to having conversation with my near and dear ones. Quite often my phone was left unattended. At the end of this one week, when issues were resolved, challenges were overcome and things were more organised, i decided i would get in touch with a few friends and that's when i realised, i had missed a lot of calls from them. i was unavailable to the same people to whom i had promised unconditional time and support.
 
Family, that means a lot to me, too had suffered due to my bad moods. Several people had been ignored and a few were hurt just because i was having a tough week. Surely, this is not called being unconditional.
 
That's when I understood that when I tell an individual I will always be there for you, I create hope in the individual. I cause the expectation. I give a silent promise that no matter what's happening in my life, if you need me, I am going to be there.

And when I fail, I shatter the trust that one has built on me. I don't deny that there are times when I need my space, my personal time to just think, clear my head, meditate upon the question marks in my life; but i also recognise that i can keep aside an hour for this and reach out at other times.

The reason i hadn't got in touch with people was not because i was using my time constructively or finding solutions, it was simply because i was irritated, in a bad mood, and had no desire to 'give' or 'be there'.

I can be my best when i am happy and when all is going right in my life, but is it not my responsibility to be my best at the worst of times? Is that not growth ? Is that not what will set me apart? When i am the creator of my own feelings, is it not my responsibility to create happy feelings and leave the stressed ones as soon as i leave my workplace?

Even in the worst of my moods I smile at my customers, I laugh with my boss and I am pleasant to every stranger who comes to my workplace. Then why is it that when i am in bad mood, my near and dear ones should experience the worst of me ? Don't they deserve to get the best of me when they are  such an essential part of my life, when my joys and sorrows are always felt by them and never by strangers?

 Can i take this small challenge with myself and be my best at all the worst of times with my loved ones and live up to my promise. Winning this small challenge will create magic in all my relationships and in my life. I will be the master of my emotions, and wow, what freedom that will be !!!

What Is Breast Cancer?

Each month, a woman's breasts go through temporary changes associated with menstruation, and a lump may form.  While the vast majaority of these growths are not cancerous, any lump should be examined immediately.  

Lumps are most common in the lobules -- small sacs that produce milk -- or the ducts that carry milk to the nipple.  But they occasionally start in other tissue.  The two main categories of breast cancer are lobular and ductal carcinomas. 

Breast cancer usually begins with the formation of a small, confined tumor. Some tumors are benign, meaning they do not invade other tissue; others are malignant, or cancerous. Malignant tumors have the potential to metastasize, or spread. Once such a tumor grows to a certain size, it is more likely to shed cells that spread to other parts of the body through the bloodstream and lymphatic system. Different types of breast cancer grow and spread at different rates; some take years to spread beyond the breast, while others move quickly.

Men can get breast cancer, too, but they account for less than one-half of one percent of all cases.  Among women, breast cancer is the most common cancer and the second leading cause of cancer deaths -- behind lung cancer.

If eight women were to live to be at least 85, one of them would be expected to develop the disease at some point during her life.  Two-thirds of women with breast cancer are over 50, and most of the rest are between 39 and 49. 

Fortunately, breast cancer is very treatable if detected early. Localized tumors can usually be treated successfully before the cancer spreads; and in nine in 10 cases, the woman will live at least another five years.  Experts usually consider a five-year survival to be a cure. 

Once the cancer begins to spread, getting rid of it completely is more difficult, although treatment can often control the disease for years.  Improved screening procedures and treatment options mean that at least seven out of 10 women with breast cancer will survive more than five years after initial diagnosis, and half will survive more than 10 years. 

What Causes Breast Cancer?

Although the precise causes of breast cancer are unclear, we know what the main risk factors are. Still, most women considered at high risk for breast cancer do not get it, while many who do have no known risk factors.  Among the most significant factors are advancing age and a family history of breast cancer.  Risk increases slightly for a woman who has had a benign breast lump and increases significantly for a woman who has previously had cancer of the breast or the ovaries. 

A woman whose mother, sister, or daughter has had breast cancer is two to three times more likely to develop the disease, particularly if more than one first-degree relative has been affected.  Researchers have now identified two genes responsible for some instances of familial breast cancer -- called BRCA1 and BRCA2.  About one woman in 200 carries it.  Having the gene predisposes a woman to breast cancer but does not ensure that she will get it.

Generally, women over 50 are more likely to get breast cancer than younger women, and African-American women are more likely than Caucasions to get breast cancer before menopause.

A link between breast cancer and hormones is gradually becoming clearer. Researchers think that the greater a woman's exposure to the hormone estrogen, the more susceptible she is to breast cancer. Estrogen tells cells to divide; the more the cells divide, the more likely they are to be abnormal in some way, possibly becoming cancerous.

A woman's exposure to estrogen and progesterone rises and falls during her lifetime, influenced by the age she starts and stops menstruating, the average length of her menstrual cycle, and her age at first childbirth.  A woman's risk for breast cancer is increased if she starts menstruating before age 12, has her first child after 30, stops menstruating after 55, or has a menstrual cycle shorter or longer than the average 26-29 days.  Current information indicates that the hormones in birth control pills probably do not increase the risk.  Some studies suggest that taking hormone replacement therapy after menopause may increase risk, especially when taken for more than 5 years.  The jury is still somewhat out on this matter though.  Heavy doses of radiation therapy may also be a factor, but low-dose mammograms pose almost no risk.

The link between diet and breast cancer is debated. Obesity is a noteworthy risk factor, and drinking alcohol regularly -- more than a couple of drinks a day -- may promote the disease. Many studies have shown that women whose diets are high in fat are more likely to get the disease. Researchers suspect that if a woman lowers her daily calories from fat -- to less than 20%-30% -- her diet may help protect her from developing breast cancer.

Courtesy : WebMD

As my mom has been diagnosed with Cancer, we were spending most of our time in the last two weeks in hospital and pathological labs. Even though externally my mom looks fine, all in the family were worried as Cancer is a very dangerous word and we would never want to hear that in our life. Added to that, my Paternal Grand Mother succumber to cancer some thirty five years back, is haunting the memories of everyone. Probably the people in the younger generation are more confident because of the advancement of the Medical science and there is cure for this. But the reality is, Cancer is indeed curable, but the treatment is painful, but my mom is a brave lady and she is ready to face it and we are confident that we will be supporting her through this.

During this time, I went to office couple of times and my colleagues used to ask me, How my mom is? What should I answer, she is fine, but she will soon become sick, is that what I am supposed to answer?

With these kind of mixed emotions, I thought I would start a series on Cancer and also give an update on the progress of the treatment for my mother. I thought this would be educative for someone who want to know about cancer and also if someone has been diagnosed with cancer, to enable them to know about the medical treatment for the same.

Everything was seeming to go well in my life and even last Saturday, when we went to Dakshina Chitra, we met a Palm Reader and when this person asked us to ask any question, we said, we have everything in life, we dont have anything to ask for. May be Gods overheard us and in the next two days dropped a bombshell in our lives with the intensity of the one that fell on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

My mom claimed that she finds some lump in her breast, after examining her breasts as per the instructions they gave on one of the TV channels. We did not want to take it easy, so we took her to our family Gynaecologist, Dr. Lakshmi in T.Nagar. There, she went through some routine tests and we were asked to take her for a CT Scan. The results of which revealed that she had 'Cancer', the lump which was found in her breasts suddenly came up in our throats also. Then some confirmatory tests were done and then we were asked to test her Bone Marrow, Liver, Lungs, etc. Fortunately all these organs seem to be clear, still was nto affected by Cancer. Then it was decided that we have to admit her in the hospital and a surgery has to be performed on her breast.

She was admitted to the hospital on 24 March 2008 and then when the Oncologist was checking her, identified two more nodes in her right breast and told us that we have to do a biopsy of those nodes and incase those nodes are also identified as cancer cells, he told us that Surgery will not be helpful. So today, we went ahead and did some more tests and waiting with our fingers crossed.

With the situation being grim, I probably did not have any other option than to read my mother the book on Lance Armstrong's life to prepare her for the lifelong battle she would have to wage from now on.

Looking back, what is the cause of the cancer? no answer. Glad when the doctor says that this probably is the initial stages of Cancer, but in my mother's case the identification was just a chance. She had no symptoms or whatsoever, there was not any uneasiness, she was not feeling sick and absolutely nothing that could even give us a hint that she has Cancer. Even when we came to the hospital, we all came with loud laughter and I am sure that she was not feeling sick at all. But I am sure that when she goes out of this hospital, she would be a sick person. But, I am sure my mom will survive this and will fight the battle without giving up.

So, I would want to place a request here, assuming that anyone can get Breast Cancer, just ensure that you are aware of it and incase you have it, please diagnose at the earliest. There are a lot of websites and Non Profit Organisations which would give you all the necessary information for you, So be aware of it. Please spread this message to all the women you know in your life and ensure that they are doing the monthly self diagnosis by themselves.

Follow this link for the 5 Step Breast Self Examination:

http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/self_exam/bse_steps.jsp

Vinod is my good friend, he is in our finance department. As I was talking to Vinod and Bala from IS, Vinod wanted to know how I post all these articles. Being a good friend of mine, I feel that he deserves an entry in my blog.

Thanks Vinod for being my friend.

There was a lot of discussion that happened about the Quality of our deliverables in the recently concluded Steering Committee Meeting and I was travelling back to Chennai from Bangalore, with thoughts filled with the same.

I was travelling by Shatabdi Express and when the train crossed Katpadi, I just went outside the A/c Cabin to the place near the Toilets, just to stretch my leg and to get some fresh air. As I was standing there, I noticed the Train Attendant sitting their on a carton box and counting the number of cups. I realised that he must be getting ready for his return journey or probably the next journey.

As I was noticing him, thoughts just ran to the lifestyle that he would be having and also his work environment, work etc. I had opened the door of the train and just then another train attendant came and asked me if I am done with what I am doing. When I asked him as to why he is enquiring, he told me that he has to check some cables behind the door and he feels that one of the cable has burnt. I asked him to go ahead and do his work and he checked some wires and then smiled at me and said that one of the wires have got burnt and the same has to replaced in Chennai. Then I saw him filling some logs and also brought his Supervisor and explained the problem to him and he then signed in those logs.I was a silent spectator to all these and still the Catering attendant was continuing his counting without getting affected by what is happening around him.

Immediately I started comparing this to the work that we do back in office. The lifestyle that I have is multiple times better than what is available to the two characters that I spoke about. The monetary compensation that I get is again multiple times that of what they get. And lot more, the work environment, work life balance, etc, everything seems to be lot better for us. But still the amount of cribbing that we do is lot more than what these people would have done.

Again, as a traveller, will I be happy if the attendant makes mistake while serving the food, instead of Vegetarian food, what if her serves non vegetarian food? Incase I ask for water and what if he delays the same by 15 minutes? While serving food, if he spills food on us, how would we feel? I can keep going on... Even for him Customer Service is primary and he cannot afford to make mistakes. It is not Ok if there is a failure and he may not get the second chance to correct the same. Lets take the case of the Electrician, when he asked me if I am done with my work, I again saw customer service, he was bothered that my journey is comfortable. Again, if you typically look at that problem he handled and the logs he filled, I dont think he complains and I am sure that he will have it fixed in Chennai, he will certainly not be ok to travel back to Bangalore with the wire not fixed. And imagine he has to meticulously do all this for every compartment in the train, I also witnessed the difficulty he had in filling those logs in the moving train, still he did not complain. He went about doing the work meticulously.

Comparing the same with the facilities that we have, why are we cribbing a lot to do reviews, documentations, version controls etc. Why are we taking bugs very easily? Why do feel okay if there are bugs in our code and if our code is not tuned for the best performance? Dont you think that we should provide the best quality for our customer? Is it not necessary to take care of our customer?

Quality is non negotiable and just because you dont see tangible problems, does not mean that mediocrity in the deliverables are accepted. What is applicable to the Catering Attendant and the Electrician when you are the customer is as well applicable to us when we are delivering services to our customers. Just imagine if that electrician ignores and waits for the customer to complain that it is not working well, if it had resulted in a fire accident in the compartment, is what he does is ok? Same way lets put us also in the line of fire and ensure that we are giving the best quality and also lets feel that if there are bugs in the code that you develop, it is a disgrace to you. Lets remember and empathise our customers situation by thinking about ourselves as a customer.

Was in Bangalore in the last couple of days for a Steering Committee Meeting, everything went on well and our Customer was very happy with the way the relationship has been in the last one year. This also gave me an oppurtunity to meet my friends in Bangalore and spend some time with them.

Back home, my daughter was sick and is down with severe cold and which resulted in ear ache. Took care of her during the weekend and so not much happened during the weekend.

On Sunday afternoon my wife and daughter were sleeping and I woke up before them. Thought I can surprise my wife by preparing Tea, I have never been to the kitchen before, except to drop my used plates for washing. Did not exactly know what to do? Took the help of Internet to prepare of the same. With great difficulty boiled the milk and prepared tea. My wife woke up before i could finish because of the noise I made. But it tasted yucky, by being thoughtful, looks like I spoiled her evening tea. Anyway will try and perfect it next time.

Started the day very early as I had to catch the train to Bangalore, going there to attend the Steering Committee Meeting with my client. My train was scheduled to leave Chennai Central at 6:00 AM and as usual planned to wake up by 4:30 am and leave home by 5:00 am so I can be at the station well ahead of time.

'Man proposes, God disposes,' With great difficulty woke up at 4:50 am and found that there is now power due to the more than normal rain. In the darkness somehow managed to take bath and dressed up and boarded the cab at 5:10 am. As it is very early in the morning, the drive from would not take more than 30 minutes time and as I we crossed the Kathipara Junction, the driver stopped the vehicle and then I realised that one of the tyres have become flat. Thought I will take another auto, but the driver assured that we will still make it, so trusted him.

Then he changed the tyre and suddenly I had a feeling that I am in some F1 circuit, near Nandanam we nearly hit one two wheeler. Then told the driver that it is fine even if I miss the train, I can drive down to Bangalore as my meeting is only scheduled late in the evening. I had more suprises near Spencer's Plaza, as we saw vehicles being diverted to one side of the road, as a lorry had toppled on the other side. Meanwhile, I was supposed to check the tickets this morning for the time and the coach number, which I did not do because of the urgency. Then when we reached Simpson, the time was 5:50 am and I was wondering if I am supposed travel today, as I did not get a call from Suresh. Probably, this is what they call it as telepathy, he called me and asked me where I am? I told him that I will be there in 5 minutes time and got the Coach No and Platform number from him.

Then reached my coach just in time and told Suresh about the encounters I had on my way and he smiled and probably that smile told me that he did not beleive me. I would not blame him, as he has reasons to smile, last time when we travelled together, I was late to the station, because the cab I travelled met with a minor accident. I dont know may be I am jinxed when travelling with him.